In the matter of entertainment how to take a faith based decision when the friends forces us to have the wild parties?

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In the matter of entertainment how to take a faith based decision when the friends forces us to have the wild parties?
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#1

In the matter of entertainment how to take a faith based decision when the friends forces us to have the wild parties?


#2

The short answer to this question is “it depends on the party.” Parties are popular because they are fun opportunities to get together with friends, meet new people, and to relax and enjoy one another’s company. As human beings, we are designed to be social creatures. We live in groups, work in groups, and socialize in groups. So when we desire to party, we are responding to the need for human interaction, fun, and relaxation. This is normal and natural.

For Christians, the desire for human interaction has the added dimension of wanting and needing fellowship. The Greek word translated “fellowship” in the New Testament is koinonia, which means “partnership, participation, social interaction, and communication.” The important concept for Christian fellowship is “partnership.” The Bible tells us we have been called into fellowship (partnership) with Christ (1 Corinthians 1:9), with the Father (1 John 1:3), and with the Holy Spirit (Philippians 2:1). John tells us that, as believers, we have fellowship with one another by virtue of the blood Jesus shed for us on the cross (1 John 1:7). Paul adds the idea that to fellowship with Christ is to partake of His suffering (Philippians 3:10). We are also warned that we are not to have fellowship with evil (1 Corinthians 10:20). Just as light and darkness are incompatible, so there should be no fellowship between Christians and sin.

The problem with the question “should Christians go to parties?” is that the “parties” being asked about are almost always not “fellowship parties.” There is no reason to even ask the question regarding parties that are focused on Christian fellowship. No, this question is almost always in regards to parties that involve alcohol, drugs, and/or sex. Certainly, there are non-Christians who can party innocently, but a party that involves things that are immoral and/or illegal must be avoided. As believers, we are to guard ourselves against temptation, remembering that “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Further, attending parties where sinful activities occur—even if we don’t participate in them—weakens our witness and brings reproach on the name of Christ (Romans 2:24).“Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness” (2 Timothy 2:19).

There are those who might see going to parties as an opportunity to share Christ with unbelievers, and while we are to be ready with an answer for the hope within us at all times, that presupposes unbelievers at a party are interested in the gospel. Rarely does such an opportunity arise at a party where drinking, drug use, and sexual activity are occurring. Therefore, while Christians should take every opportunity to fellowship with other believers, we must be discerning about opening ourselves up to temptation or anything that would compromise our life in Christ and our witness to a watching world.


#3

The short answer to this question is “it depends on the party.” Parties are popular because they are fun opportunities to get together with friends, meet new people, and to relax and enjoy one another’s company. As human beings, we are designed to be social creatures. We live in groups, work in groups, and socialize in groups. So when we desire to party, we are responding to the need for human interaction, fun, and relaxation. This is normal and natural.

For Christians, the desire for human interaction has the added dimension of wanting and needing fellowship. The Greek word translated “fellowship” in the New Testament is koinonia, which means “partnership, participation, social interaction, and communication.” The important concept for Christian fellowship is “partnership.” The Bible tells us we have been called into fellowship (partnership) with Christ (1 Corinthians 1:9), with the Father (1 John 1:3), and with the Holy Spirit (Philippians 2:1). John tells us that, as believers, we have fellowship with one another by virtue of the blood Jesus shed for us on the cross (1 John 1:7). Paul adds the idea that to fellowship with Christ is to partake of His suffering (Philippians 3:10). We are also warned that we are not to have fellowship with evil (1 Corinthians 10:20). Just as light and darkness are incompatible, so there should be no fellowship between Christians and sin.

The problem with the question “should Christians go to parties?” is that the “parties” being asked about are almost always not “fellowship parties.” There is no reason to even ask the question regarding parties that are focused on Christian fellowship. No, this question is almost always in regards to parties that involve alcohol, drugs, and/or sex. Certainly, there are non-Christians who can party innocently, but a party that involves things that are immoral and/or illegal must be avoided. As believers, we are to guard ourselves against temptation, remembering that “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Further, attending parties where sinful activities occur—even if we don’t participate in them—weakens our witness and brings reproach on the name of Christ (Romans 2:24).“Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness” (2 Timothy 2:19).

There are those who might see going to parties as an opportunity to share Christ with unbelievers, and while we are to be ready with an answer for the hope within us at all times, that presupposes unbelievers at a party are interested in the gospel. Rarely does such an opportunity arise at a party where drinking, drug use, and sexual activity are occurring. Therefore, while Christians should take every opportunity to fellowship with other believers, we must be discerning about opening ourselves up to temptation or anything that would compromise our life in Christ and our witness to a watching world.


#4

Of course, the Bible is clear on drunkenness (and by implication abuse of
other drugs), sexual immorality and the like. I assume your question is
whether it is a sin for us to voluntarily be hanging around with people
when they are involved in such activities. Specifically, is it a sin to
be at a party where blatantly sinful activities are going on when we are
not partaking in such behavior?

My answer is that it is not in general sinful to be in the vicinity of
others who are sinning. We do not become sinners by being in the
neighborhood while sin is happening. In my opinion it is more a matter of
wisdom than of sin as to whether it is OK for us to be be present at
parties at which blatant sin is going on. Jesus did not withdraws himself
from the world. He does not ask us to withdraw from the world. He asks
us to be in the world so that we can influence the world. Jesus went to a
wedding at which we can assume that some of the guests drank too much
(John 2:1-11). Jesus was accused of associating with sinners, as were his
apostles (Matthew 9:11,12 is one of many examples). It is not sinful, per
se, to walk into a bar or to walk into a room where drugs are being used.
In fact, in some situations, Jesus himself may have been willing to walk
into such a place to reach out.

Having said that, I believe that wisdom and biblical principles both tell
us that it is unwise, and in some cases extremely unwise for disciples of
Jesus to be hanging around in certain situations where blatant sin is
going on. Drunk people are rarely if ever open to the gospel. Why would
a Christian want to be hanging out in such places? If a person who claims
to be a follower of Jesus attends a drunken party or goes to a provocative
bachelor party, etc… a good question is why? What is the attraction?
To go to a sporting event where there also happens to be drunk people is
one thing. The purpose in that case is to attend a game, and the drunken
people are along for the ride. To go to a drinking party or to be at an
orgy or the like is another thing. There is the matter of example. Paul
vowed to not do anything which might make a weak brother or sister
stumble. Even if we think we can handle being in such a compromising
situation, our brothers and sisters may not. In such a case, being at a
wild party can rise to the level of being sin. (Romans 14 and 1
Corinthians 8 for example). 1 Corinthians 10:12,13 warns us about putting
ourselves into situations in which we will be tempted. “So if you think
you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.”

If you or a friend are going to such parties, you should ask what is the
reason. Why even ask the question? Are you looking for an excuse to do
something you already know is at best foolish, or at worse sinful?

To summarize, I believe we should not make blanket statements. There is
no scripture one can use which proves that under any circumstances it is
sinful to be present while others are committing sin. It is a very bad
idea to be legalistic about this issue. Nevertheless, common sense,
wisdom and biblical principles tell us that it is foolish in most cases to
make a habit of taking part in wild parties and blatant sinful events.
Because of our example, it can even rise to the level of being sin against
our brothers or sisters. Rather than teach some sort of unbiblical law,
let us not judge on another, but let us give wise and loving advice to our
fellow believers about the wisdom on this question.


#5

I am a Christian, but at the moment I feel like my lifestyle is not very “Christian” (like partying too much, boy issues, etc). Maybe I’m just suffering from a fear of missing out. Can you give me some advice on how I can live a life according to the Bible also enjoy being a 20-year-old who wants to enjoy life a bit before growing up and getting all serious and stuff?
—Carrie

Finally, an area I know something about—being a 20-year old girl who likes to party.

Here’s the thing, I think you’ve gotten some bad info regarding what living a Christian lifestyle is going to look like. And the idea that a Fear Of Missing Out is driving your behavior confirms it. So, I’m going to pretend that right now, Carrie is grown up “and getting all serious and stuff.” This is what your life might look like in a few years:

  1. You still party. You’re extroverted, you love to dance, stay out late with your friends and basically just be a nut. You’re fun, Carrie. Go crazy.

  2. You are still having boy issues. Dating will always be rough, and dating Christian guys can be even rougher. Not only do you have the weight of figuring out compatibility, but now every guy you meet is screening you for Calling/the one/marriage/kissing dating goodbye—and all this before they even know your name. Boy issues never go away.

  3. You are gaining a deeper sense of your self-worth. This self-worth now comes from you, finally, understanding that the Creator of the Universe crafted you, delights in you, loves you and holds you in very high esteem. Furthermore, because you believe all the things I just said, what you love and who you are doesn’t vanish—it evolves.

For example: You’ll party, but the destructive accessories of that life will seem somehow cheap. Your joy won’t come from the things that are, as the Bible defines them, sinful. Rather, your joy will come from the abundance of good.


#6

One big challenge in Greek Life as a Christian is learning to navigate the party culture with self-control. Whether you are of age and are able to drink, or don’t drink at all, parties are a regular occurrence for Greeks. Contrary to what you may have heard, Christians are supposed to have fun! As Christians we are called to love our neighbor, which includes spending time with them and enjoying their company. In this case, our neighbors are actually our fraternity brothers and sorority sisters, and they happen to be the party people.

Following Christ and obeying His commands yields much more fun and excitement in the long run than doing whatever you want. But because we often make decisions which seem fun in the immediate, we deal with consequences that last much longer than the exhilaration of the initial thrill.

There are often two extreme partying backgrounds what Greeks come from. You may fall somewhere in the middle, but take a moment to examine your intentions when it comes to participating in the party scene with your friends.

The Binger
You used to drink as much as you could, as often as possible. You went hard at parties, socials, formals without much concern for yourself or others. It’s about having a great time!

But then you met Jesus and He calls you to have self-control and be of sober judgment. It’s likely that you now struggle with the pressures of your old life of partying. All your old Greek friends want you to be the same old person. When we follow Jesus as it says in 2nd Corinthians 5:17, the old is gone and the new has come. We are a new creation.

Our habits, our mindsets, and actions should be different as Jesus transforms us from the inside out. This can cause friction in those old relationships.

Our habits, our mindsets, and actions should be different as Jesus transforms us from the inside out.
Greeks who experience this can often hear from their friends, “You aren’t any fun anymore, we want the old Joe Greek back," or “how come you don’t come out and drink with us anymore?” It is important to affirm the friendship with these brothers or sisters, but to not get into a place of temptation or compromise. If alcohol was a huge struggle before, then going out to the bars is probably not the best idea for working on self control. Perhaps instead, invite those drinking buddies out to lunch, to watch a movie, or to play basketball. The point is to connect with them in other contexts to affirm that the relationship is a priority.

The Prude
You don’t participate in it, but you judge those who do make poor decisions and get drunk. While you keep yourself pure, often you disconnect yourself from your brothers/sisters.

This opposite extreme happens when a Christian enters the Greek System and experiences the party culture but completely isolates themself from it. Finding ways to be a follower of Jesus in the party culture is tough, but not impossible. Some suggestions would be to go to the parties and bring non-alcoholic drinks-Jones Sodas, Ice Tea, Root Beer, or water. If you go to a party, try to always have a beverage in your hand. If you don’t, it makes it possible for someone will fill your empty hand with something you might not want. Bring a supply to last the night, or if you only bring one beverage, make it a point to leave the party once you finish it.

What’s Your Focus?
Whichever type you are at parties, focus less on what your brothers/sisters are doing, and more about the invitations that Jesus is giving to you there. Maybe He is inviting you to go love and care for that sister who just got dumped and is trying to drink away her pain. Perhaps He is inviting you to just have fun, dance, and be silly to show your brothers/sisters you can have a good time while still keeping your integrity, dignity, and faith.

Remember, Jesus didn’t isolate himself from those who were broken and in need, He spent the majority of His time loving and caring for them, but He kept himself pure and strong amidst the temptations.