We built our dream house about a year ago, thinking it would make us happy and bring us closer together. But it hasn’t; if anything, our marriage is in even worse shape. We argue about everything, it seems. Is divorce the only answer?
I believe God doesn’t want to see you get a divorce. The marriage has God’s deep will, it is a commitment to one another. Jesus, for his part, interpreted the passage as allowing divorce only in cases of sexual immorality, that is, sexual marital unfaithfulness (Matthew 19:9; cf. Matthew 5:32; Greek porneia). Even in such cases, divorce is only permissible, not encouraged or even preferable. Instead, Jesus strongly insisted that marriage according to God’s original design was lifelong and permanent, based on the statement in Genesis that a man will leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, “and they shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5, citing Genesis 2:24). Jesus’ conclusion was therefore that, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
Paul, likewise, extolled the virtues of marriage (see especially Ephesians 5:21-33), calling on husbands to love their wives and on wives to submit to their husbands and to treat them with respect. The only legitimate divorce allowed by Paul is what has been called the “Pauline privilege.” This refers to cases where in an unbelieving couple one of the spouses comes to faith in Christ and the other partner refuses to continue the marriage. Addressing this kind of situation, Paul stipulates, “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Pray for you and I suggest you and your husband go to church for help.
Amen good answer
God wants us to create and make a home of reconciliation. Of course, there can be contentions and disputes in marriage. But what if you try to understand each other first? Rather than raise each other’s voices, you will be able to listen to each other’s opinions and coordinate opinions among them. Show that you and your husband love each other. Now, for a while, the love is shrouded in dispute, but if you realize that you are loving each other again, the dispute will be resolved naturally and you will try to hear more of each other’s opinions. I will pray together for the reconciliation of your family.
There is something called “Marriage Encounter” that helped a couple tremendously that I know were married for over 60 years! They fought constantly … until they went to one of these weekends.
At that time, which was decades ago, only the Catholic church put these weekends on. I’m sure it has spread at least to the Episcopalian church. Perhaps others.
It’s a common sense practical way to get through to one another’s hearts and past the arguments. It also heals hurts.
I don’t think so . Argue is common problem since we are different people. We should find solutions to solve problem. If you divorce with your present husband and get married with another one, argue is still there. So I hope you can talk with your pastor and get some suggestions from your pastor.
Found a GREAT video, it’s brief but clear to help with this.
“God Will Not Give You a Mate That’s Compatible ❃Paul Washer❃”
7 minutes 27 seconds